Saturday, 22 December 2007
Time for another stress out post. Have I made a stress out post yet? I don't know. I tend not to read the stuff I write on here. The idea is to get shit out of my head. Fuck knows why I put it online. Perhaps I, like everyone else on here, like to believe that someone will read their stuff. That's it, it's stuff. And if anyone has time to read it (highly unlikely), fair play. You've found a new web page to waste their time on. Bollocks, I've just had another post modernist blog rant. Slap my wrists.

Anyhoo. The reason I'm writing tonight, like most nights I write, is to clear my head. My college workload is starting to get to me. Starting to get to me? Maybe not. It's been on my mind for a good few months and now the deadlines are approaching (I've got a month to do a semester of work - nice fuck up mate) the reality is setting in.

So yeah, I've got to produce 9000 words of features (note it's Christmas, how do you contact people this time of year?) that I have no idea where to start. On top of that, tutors are of little help developing them. I've also got to get working on the dissertation, which although I've done a fair bit of reading, I've done no note taking. Bad student!

So yeah, my degree is disintegrating in front of my eyes. When I think about it I freak out. When I don't I feel guilty for not doing so, and then freak out. Talk about a catch-22. If only I could get the ball rolling and get some confidence back in my work. And myself. Here lies the central problem. I'm in a rut. For the last two months I've been in a downward spiral. And my cynical depressive self has let it take over. Stupid cunt! Get you're head together. Get to work!

So that's the plan. In the morning. I'm gonna get my ass in gear and write something of some use, instead of this self-absorbed, self pitying shit. This isn't gonna be an easy or fun festive period (but then, are any?), but it's going to be a busy one. And it's about fucking time.